Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
