i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
