try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
