i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
