Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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