If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
