My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
