dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize