I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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