I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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