i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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