Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
