the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
