Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Soap is not a condiment

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.

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(519): View more from Ontario

my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot

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(804): View more from Virginia

Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.

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(619): View more from California

I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..

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