fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
