Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
