How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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