At least make sure they are 18
Why
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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