then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
