Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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