you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
