So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
