I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
