"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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