Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
my liver is dry heaving
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
