You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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