He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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