this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
