Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Randomize
