i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
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