so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
