Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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