Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
