I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
