So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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