How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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