Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
