Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
