Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
