I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
