if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
