I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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