There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
