A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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