I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
