WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
