Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
