Did you just see the Batmobile???
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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