if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
