you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
