If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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