we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
