I met the friendliest cop last night
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
