I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
