haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
