You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize