So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
