What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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