Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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