I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
