You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
