well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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