So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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