im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
