ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize