And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
