I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
