This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
