I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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