Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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