Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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