is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize