All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize