How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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